09 April 2012

God forgive me, I don't mean to question you

Is this what I have been praying for this whole time? Is this what I've been needing? God after all this frustration, is this what I've been seeking? I pray for your forgiveness and not for my own understanding. You wouldn't put more on me than I can bare but what is he to me. Would you let me feel what greatness feels like to head back to pain? Expose me to real and never be the same. Let us cross paths just to help one another in these trying times? I'm in a dark place as is he but is it real between us or just a fantasy? You said this that come from sin can't not succeed but Lord I ask you, can you make this exception for me? For us, I believe this us more than just lust. But I ask this of you but at the end of it all, I sure am blessed to have experienced this than not at all

Time for a change

Things have changed for the better and everything feels right
The standard has been set for what I deserve to have in my life
Every piece of me has been ignited with passion and I feel like a woman again
Me accepting crap from a man is no longer existing
I've been treated like royalty and I refuse to go back to how I use to live


I get excited when you wear nothing but basketball shorts to bed
Gives me the urge to explore your body with my hands
And discover what makes you a man
Can I hold you real tight in my arms , I want you next to me but yet I want you on top of me
The smell of your cologne dances in my nose, your scent makes me lose control of my thoughts and do somethings to you with my imagination.
I can't help myself but can you blame me? You turn me on and I can't stand it when I can't have you. Boy this is not a game I will pounce on you. Let me wrap my body onto yours and you can have me because I am yours

He who hurt me

He hurt my spirit and tortured my soul, yet I loved him with all of me and in return he turned me cold. All the signs were there from the beginning but I tried to make it work because I loved him. That type of love that I would go to the end of the earth for him, if he needed a piece of me it was his to have but he never understood that I loved him more then words could express. All I ever wanted was for him to feel the same and let the love flow through him. He never realized the passion that lived inside of me for him, the pure desire of him being near me ......... I thought he was the air in my lungs and the heart in my chest but that day came when what I had wasn't the best for him and what he wanted to do with himself anymore. I was no longer the love of his life or his soul mate. He couldn't even look me in my in when we were face to face, letting those bullets shoot out of his mouth into my chest like killing me softly with no soft in it. He murdered my heart because I knew it was lies, crushed my mind a million times but he walked away without a scratch or a bruise, didn't even extend a helping hand moved on with his life like we never happened, like i never existed. I never moved on,letting him always have his place back in my world, hoping he would change his mind and he did but it changed severe times and a piece of me died with every turn. Demanding all of me but claiming he never did, opening up my heart again but never really wanted it, and looking of him to love me like i needed to be loved and it never happened. A scared little boy running from me, running from my love ......... Like I was the Black plague or the Human Immunodeficiency Virus bug. Love had broken me, he had broken me and i still never understood how I can't live without him but he live without me.